We'll always have pears.

Wowwee! Today was amazing. Emily and I both received monetary awards for our arts. We were planning on having a fun party up in Salt Lake at Kilby with two bands that we wanted to get to know, but it was canceled because of a snow storm in Wyoming that delayed their coming.
That can't get us down.
We went out for frozen yogurt and then to Emily's sister's house. We swam in the heated pool, casting shadows on the wall from the pool light. Then sitting in the hot tub we had so many good jokes and conversations and it turned into a wonderful evening. Then we went to Damien's and hung out with him and his roommates and made more good jokes and conversation.
Driving back, we were dancing and singing and feeling hungry so we stopped at In N Out and got a cheeseburger-split in two. Emily remembered that A Crowd of Small Adventures was opening for Camera Obscura in Las Vegas sometime soon and when we got home we found out it is the very same weekend we were planning on being in Vegas!! and the tickets are only $12!!! So we bought tickets!!
Then I tried calling Denmark again and finally got a hold of someone! PHEW. It was such a relief and a great end to the night.
I am grateful the universe looks out for me.

right!! a letter to myself.

I've been thinking a lot these past few days about my future. I have a lot of options, but I'm not sure what will make me the happiest. Two nights ago I was searching my inbox for an old email Susan sent me with an art jobs link and stumbled upon an old email I had written three years ago to an ex-boyfriend. I found a whole string of emails we had written to keep in touch and it was so fun to go through and read about the lives we led back then in 2007. I didn't even remember writing those emails, but they recounted my past and I loved reliving it.
As I read this particular email I was astounded by my own grace, wisdom and counsel. It shocked me because lately I have been feeling the exact same emotions and needed to hear those same words I expressed to him. Wow! I never would have imagined that my 25 year old self would be telling my 28 year old self how to change, trust, live and love. I was proud of myself back then, a little disappointed in my lack of faith now.
I didn't mean to write a letter to myself, but I'm glad it worked out that way.

jettisoning myself into youthdom/irresonsibility.

i went back in time last week. i dropped all my responsibilities and drove to austin, texas with 7 other people, all younger than me, all barely acquaintances. i may regret this on wednesday, when i have to give the single most difficult presentation i have ever prepared, but what has been done has been done. i was young and carefree. we drove 24 hours there and 24 back. we lounged, we laughed, swam and saw shows. nevermind, i don't think i will ever regret it. austin was amazing.

happy birthdays

I love receiving/sending packages for birthdays. I think my favorite part of receiving is when you pull the present out of the mail envelope and the once carefully curled ribbon has been smushed up against the present. There is something about that crushed curled ribbon, stuck in its place, kind of like a picture, frozen in time, saying, "This is exactly the way I looked when so-and-so placed me inside this envelope for you. And here's a hug."

you caved my karma in.

this has to be the most beautiful song in the whole world. I may or may not have listened to this one million times...with the potential for more.
Why do I love this?
no one knows.

poetry relief

In my quest to appreciate, understand and love the wind I wrote an haiku and dedicate it to that moving force:

Wind's Curling Breath
it swishes past me
lifting my skirts and spirits
changing old for new






photo courtesy of this blog

Patriotism.

If you fill your life with enough olympics you will never be sad that your two best friends are on the other side of the world.
Because the olympics brings pillow fights, banana pancake cookies, blueberries, impromptu dance parties, art, dog piles and the spirit of Mardi Gras.
go.U.S.A.
(let's pretend that that's what my shirt really says.)

Accordion-oh-no? oh yes.

probably the single best thing that has happened to me since yesterday.

To everything there is a season.

This week, when needing to console a grieving friend, I found this poem by Emily Dickinson that said exactly the right words, in just the right way. I love this. I love Emilys.

"Our share of night to bear,
Our share of morning,
Our blank in bliss to fill,
Our blank in scorning.

Here a star, and there a star,
Some lose their way.
Here a mist, and there a mist,
Afterwards—day!"

I'm Excited

My show opens on Friday! It's a collection of my R.E.C.E.N.T. Works (Rachel's Emotional Comical Electronic Nostalgic Things). They are all over the gallery, ready for blast off and good conversation.

thank you.

yesterday in the art class that I teach at the Scera, I had a new student. She is 11 and adorable. We were talking about Christmas and she asked me what I did for Christmas. I told her my parents were gone and I was the only one not married so I spent it at my sister's house. She looked up and sincerely said, "Well your pretty enough to be married..." Thanks! That really made my day. I am pretty enough to be married.

Tonight tonight

I just arrived at my parents house. They are studying Romanian and listening to the radio station on the TV. When a good song comes on they stop and dance for the song and then back to the books.
Right after I came in the door, Could I Have This Dance by Anne Murray came on. They started waltzing around the living room and I almost cried thinking about how that song reminds me of the relationship I have seen them have my whole life. When we were little we would play that Anne Murray album and my parents would always hold each other and dance to that song. It typifies their love for one another and will forever remind me of them.
I love that song. And I sing along to all of the words.



I'll always remember the song they were playin',
The first time we danced and I knew,
As we swayed to the music and held to each other,
I fell in love with you.

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner every night?
When we're together, it feels so right.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

I'll always remember that magic moment,
When I held you close to me.
'Cause we moved together, I knew forever,
You're all I'll ever need

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner every night?
When we're together, it feels so right.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

recent works and sentiments

maybe nothing will make you happy
but to give
and give
and give
voids filled
with try
and try
and try
once bitten
twice shy.

Haircut Hiatus

This week six people asked me to cut their hair!!! I stressed about juggling all the appointments, contemplated buying a Blackberry to help me organize my hair schedule, looked at hydraulic salon chairs on craigslist, reveled in the newly found source of cash flow, but decided I need to make some decisions.
It was probably one of the worst weeks, because I didn't spend a lot of time working in my studio! With all the outside appointments and jobs, I am getting behind in my artwork. This can't happen again. I am taking a haircut hiatus!!!

someone once said....

"by embracing the diversity of human beings you find a way to true happiness"

and I agree.

planet earth

Looks like it's more than mother nature.

art shmart

my piece got accepted to the Statewide Annual Competition!!! it will be on display at the Rio Gallery in Salt Lake all month. The opening reception is tonight. and I am pretty excited about art.

blowing my mind. one more time.

The Bowerbirds have done it again. Last night I was talking with a friend about writing a break-up song. I feel like every break-up is different, because the people involved are different and a bad relationship is caused by a variety of miscommunications or unvalidating actions and words, or just plain differences of opinion etc etc. but mostly we just hear the generic break-up songs on the radio...boy misses girl, is lonely, wonders if they should get back together, hopes to find someone new....I could go on.
As a artist I'm faced every day with having to be creative and feeling like I may never be original and when it comes to song writing, I get really overwhelmed. So many songs have already been written. What could possibly be novel in the music world??
Then today, this song popped up on my ipod and Emily and I evaluated and re-evaluated each and every lyric. We love it. This song is so deep and so original. It is layered with meanings and I love that complexity.
In the end, I loved Emily's explanation. She felt that the guy noticed a lot of the girl's faults, like how she was always switching words around to be in her favor and tallying up her wins, but in the end it was hardest to admit that she actually was right. Basically he was just prideful, but it is said with more eloquence and words.
Really good spin on an emotion we have all felt at many times in relationships.



Put my dreams in my hands so I know I'm sure
Give me all that I want from this giant world
But you can't seem to not tally it up
So we know the score

Show me how I'm a man
Show me the light
Show me the wins of the day and the depths of the night
But you can't seem to not show me all that you sacrificed

And, well, nothing is harder
Than to know how much I still owe you

You could move like a silver cloud through the skies
You could move like a secret and slip past my life
But you can't seem to quit moving words around to show who was right

And, well, nothing is harder
Than to know that you were never wrong, dear

Never Before Seen

This is a girl in my ward. I have been over to her house the last two nights for different ward activities and she has played this song for us. It is so amazing!!! I have never seen a cello played in this way before and absolutely love this song!

It's Chris O'Clock.

Last week I received a text from a guy named Chris Crosby, he had heard of my sewing skillz and needed some things sewn so we set an appointment for a fitting, Tuesday at 6 o'clock. Then a friend of mine Chris Nielsen needed me to fix his pants before he went out of town, I scheduled with him for Tuesday at noon. On Monday night my old friend Chris Allen texted me that he was in town and wanted to know if we could see each other, how about Tuesday at 6pm? We decided to make dinner together. I figured I would just fit Chris Crosby and then be able to make dinner with Chris Allen.
So Tuesday rolled around and Chris Nielsen couldn't make the noon appointment and I gave him option two, "How's 6 o'clock?" I might as well fit everyone at the same time.
I sat back and laughed. I was going to have 3 Chris' at my house at 6 o'clock!
I started to prep for dinner and decided to invite my friends Janna and Meg. I had just bought some yellow curry paste and had a ton of vegetables from my parents garden that I wanted to use.
So at 6, with the curry simmering, Chris Crosby showed up and I fitted him, Chris Allen came to help make dinner, Janna and Meg came with their brother Christian (who we call Chris!!) and Chris Nielsen stood me up. I invited Chris Crosby to join us for dinner and we set up a table outside on the lawn.
It was a delightful dinner party. I just kept laughing! All the guys at my house that day were named Chris. Midway through dinner my roommate Rachel came home with her fiancee. I almost fell off my seat when I remembered that his name was Chris TOO!
Maybe I should record this moment for the Guinness Book of World Records, "Most Chris' at a Dinner Party."
6 o'clock was more like Chris o'clock.