story(grand)slam

Tonight I went to a StorySlam. It is an event that my friend Laura invented. She gives a theme and people show up ready to tell and listen to stories. I decided to just go and be an audience member, but my friend Madison kept suggesting that I tell a story. The theme of the StorySlam was "Shot through the heart: stories of beaus and arrows."
I'll admit to having my fair share of heart breaking stories--so finally I decided to tell the story of a younger me who never shared what I felt with the guy I was in love with and obviously, he broke my heart. It was a true shot to the heart.
Lo, and behold, I WON! My story won the slam. I never expected that kind of success, but it felt good to walk away a winner. In August, all the winners from the previous Slams will have to tell another story to see who wins grand prize. Let's cross our fingers and hope something crazy happens to me between now and then, so I have something to tell.




Here's a photo of me with my winning certification.

oh no, snow.

If I lay here long enough
still
the softly falling snow will create a casket around me
filling in each crevice
making my cocoon
an envelope of stillness
cold cold white.

Houston, we've had a problem.

Here I am at the Houston Hobby airport waiting to get on a standby flight to Las Vegas. We were supposed to be in and out of here, but our original flight was canceled, we rebooked, then when we checked into the airport this morning at Tampa we found out our connecting flight from Houston to Vegas was canceled too!! The only available flight was at 9:25pm, so we booked that and headed to Houston. We've been here for 4 hours and hope to get onto a flight at 6:35...but we'll see. Cross fingers.
Otherwise we'll be waiting for 3 more hours and I'll have nothing to do BUT homework. I'm not ready for spring break to end, but I'm also not ready to set up a home in Houston*.


*one bonus was going to lunch with Lauren. She picked us up from the airport and we hung out for a couple of hours.

What good is it to sing helplessness blues?

My trip out to Denver this weekend was wonderful. I had my interview on Saturday and I am wondering if I even want that job. So I may be back at the beginning of my search for "what do I do when I graduate?"

All I really can do it listen to this song, over and over.

my own time young

This past weekend, amidst the anxiety of finishing all the work for my final show, I decided to go to San Francisco. My friends were all going and there was space in the car for one more. We left Thursday and drove through the night, slept a few hours and then headed out to explore. I spent most of my time with Susan and Jesse. I haven't seen them in a year and they took me to a lot of wonderful new places in and out of the city.
We drove through the countryside, ate cheese by a duck pond, went to the old bath house (by the Cliff House) and the Musee Mechanique.
Susan loaned me her camera and I captured our whole adventure in hipstamatic style. Thanks for the great weekend!

just wondering

I can't stay in one place longer then a year. When did I become such a nomad?

Standing For Something

I am finally getting around to reading Pres. Hinckley's book. I couldn't even get through the first page without wanting to blog about it. Here's the first sentence, "Love is the only force that can erase the differences between people or bridge the chasms of bitterness." WoW! That's exactly what we need.
I really miss that man.

God bless us, everyone!

I wanted to send something special to my parents that they could open on Christmas morning. So the day before, Aaron and I made this video. We sent them an email that said they needed to check their email Christmas morning for Santa's surprise.
We hardly had time to practice and know it's not perfect, but the true meaning of Christmas is there: a big present and lots of bows!

connect

I love to analyze the energy/spirit people bring into my life. Each person provides a different atmosphere, phenomenologically speaking.

the greatest dad.

This weekend I reflected a lot on how wonderful my family is. I spent a lot of time with family as I stayed with Vanese's kids while she was at the hospital. I don't think I have given enough praise to my father and I would like to dedicate a paragraph or two to him...right now.
My dad is one of the best men I know. He was a wonderful father who took care of us in so many ways. He was always willing to tickle us, play creative games (like the rhino, CHARGE!!!), throw us around in the swimming pool, go camping, take us to the beach or to grandma's, and in general be there for us.
He is so generous with his time, talents and finances. He is willing to help anyone and has a sincere love for ALL people around him. Almost every night of my childhood Dad would come home and we would pray and eat together. He would ask us about our day and tell us funny stories about his. He always had a good joke to share and we would laugh together and then read scriptures. He would hug us and kiss us and carry us to bed if we fell asleep in the living room. (Sometimes we would pretend we were asleep so he would have to carry us anyway--we loved that.)
Some early mornings before seminary he would make us breakfast and share thoughts for the day. During my brother's last year of high school, in the morning he would read books to him out loud that would prepare him for a mission as my brother walked around the house getting ready for school.
He wanted to prepare us for life. He wanted to give us all the necessary knowledge we would need to be good citizens, people and saints. He truly taught us how to be happy and helpful in a world full of negativity and hate. My dad is honest, trust-worthy, smart, lively, positive, energetic, happy, unique, sincere, humble and vociferous.
He taught us how to garden, how to weed, how to work, how to play, how to eat healthy, how to practice, how to dance and how to gain a testimony and live the gospel.
He showed us how to be thankful and appreciate the bounteous beauty around us. So many nights and mornings he would pull us out of the house to see the sunrise or sunset. He would hike us up mountains so we could be on "top of the world" and lead us down canyons, through rivers and forest to show us his love for nature and all of God's creations.
You good-looking bear, don't you ever die. :)

oh so vogue

Tonight I drove into las vegas. I will always love descending into the valley at night. Here's a cell phone image of the scene:


I called up my sister to tell her I was on my way and she said my nieces were so excited to see me. They were telling her all the cool things we do together and how much fun we have. They told her we go to the park and play outside and do art, etc etc. But the 4 year old said that what makes me the best is because I am a good dresser. The 6 year old agreed that I am a really good dresser. I'm glad I could impress those girls.

let it snow.

we will just build castles.



love twin shadow.

Y O Y O Y O Y

seems like guys these days just want a fan club, not a help meet.

back in black

i love halloween.
here i am as a viking from denmark...give it up, because it's all holla's eve!

Svenske Sveske

The month of October has been different from the previous two I have spent here at Guldagergaard. I am finally getting the chance to learn Danish because the house is full of Danes! Before there was only one Danish speaker, so she rarely spoke Danish, but now they speak together all the time and I am getting more and more used to the language. I made my first good Danish joke this week when they taught me that "prune" was a term of endearment, like "pumpkin" in English. I remembered that Swedish sounded kind of like prune and thought it would be funny if you had a Swedish boyfriend to call him your "Svenske Sveske" (plus another arist came this past week, Gustaf from Sweden, so we call him that sometimes...)
Karen Lise said it gave me one gold star and that she hopes I can earn more gold stars with more good jokes in Danish.
We drove to Copenhagen this weekend. I decided to spend my last weekend in the city. I toured around by boat and on foot, went to a house-warming party for Katrine's friend and met up with my friend Caitlin's sister, Brittany who just moved here from the states because she married a Dane.
This weekend was a photo finish.

burning leaves of autumn

Denmark is shedding its leaves and leaving me solemn.
This October is more crisp then those I've passed before.
and I have recently discovered that the leaves are not more orange on the other side of the pond.
They are the same. Somehow I need to keep that fact present in my mind.
I went on a walk today around the lake and took some pictures of me falling into the light of autumn.

this week in ceramics

Like The (Potter's) Wheel.

This past week has been interesting at Guldagergaard. We have been working so hard this past month all together and this week 4 artists have packed up and headed back home. They were only staying for a month or two. So now I am at a point where I feel like I should be packing up, because I have worked just as hard, but I still have 3 weeks left here.
Now I am trying to refocus and think of things I want to do for my remaining time here. I made paperclay from some royal copenhagen slip casting clay. That was something I had never done before, but Claire and Merja were working in paper clay and they taught me how. I spread out layers of it slowly on big plaster slab and when it was thick enough I hand-built some tableware. They just came out of the bisque this week, so I am excited to glaze them. See below!
Last night I wrote out some goals so that I could manage my time well. Jody sold me her nice china porcelain clay for a reclaimed price, so now I can try to make some little sculptures that will be able to travel home with me.
Jody and I went to the post office yesterday because we decided mailing stuff home was the best solution. I bought a box and will mail stuff later this week. All of my sculptures are in an exhibition now, so I won't be able to mail them...I will just have to take what I can with me in a carry-on bag I bought from the second hand store last week and give the rest away as presents.
I am getting really excited to visit my parents in Romanis, finish school, graduate,and find a job...in that order. Von has been sending me info on different universities that are hiring ceramic professors. I feel like there are quite a few. That is good news for me.
Other good news is that there is an artist/designer working here, Rikke Hagen, who lives in Copenhagen and comes out to Guldagergaard a couple of times per month. I was feeling like I had too much time on my hands and she offered me a job being her assistant last week. So I will work for her a couple of days a week and get paid. Hopefully I can offset my living costs a little.
And in other good news, Mette offered me a job working their NCECA booth in Tampa this next March. I wasn't planning on going to NCECA, but wanted to be able to see Richard and Mette again. Then she told me I could have a free badge and she could pay me a little. WOW! So here I come Tampa. I've never been there before and I look forward to a new adventure. I will love to tell people about this place. I love Guldagergaard.

it finds you somewhere with your back to it

REAL LOVE.


Today I went to Slagelse, the closest big town to where I live. I was meeting some ladies from the church to use their sewing machine and fix some pants of mine. I ended up drawing a pattern for my backpack because one of the women wanted to make one just like it. So I measured all the pieces and showed her how I put it together. I still think that home-made backpack is a miracle.

After the sewing party, Christina and I went out to dinner at a Kebab restaurant downtown by the train station. She lives above the station so afterward she walked me there and we found out I had missed the bus by 3 minutes! If only we had left dinner a little sooner. Unfortunately, after 8pm the buses only run once an hour, so I had to wait for an hour to catch the next one. She waited with me and we talked about her future plans. She has dual citizenship, since her dad is American and I wondered if she would ever want to live in the US. I think she will apply to BYU for next year. Exciting!

Finally the bus came and we said our goodbyes (in English and Danish). The bus driver and this one guy were looking at us, but I just got on and moved to the middle of the bus. About 5 minutes later that guy came back and stood next to me and spoke to me in Danish. I said "what?" a few times and then he realized "You're not Danish." "No." He sat down beside me and we talked the entire way back to Skaelskor. He lives there with his family. He was flirting with me and wanting to know when he could see me again, etc, etc, but I never know how old guys are here (because the really young ones sometimes look really old!--I'm talking highschool teenagers looking like mid-twenties, no joke) I asked him his age and he said 22. Figures. Then he asked how old I was and he was shocked when I told him 28. He asked how old Christina was and I told him 20. He thought she was 16 and I was 19 or 20.
Thank you very much. I will take that as a compliment and start acting the age I look.

Here's a picture of my new found maturity.

recipes recipes recipes

Papa Was A Rodeo.
This week I have been glaze testing. I have mixed up a bunch of glaze recipes and seen one final product that I wasn't pleased with at all. I am used to certain results back in the states and my first test was a little disappointing. We have a few different materials and I had to do some substitutions. Those slight difference will change the mood of my work completely.
So I am tweaking my recipes and hoping for the best. We open the kiln tomorrow. Cross fingers.
Today I used a million more recipes in the kitchen. I wanted to make a cafe rio style taco salad, so I had to make the dressing! I found the recipe online, but didn't think I would be able to find ranch dressing anywhere, so I also found a recipe for that. I made buttermilk ranch dressing from scratch!!
Also for dessert I made a flan from scratch. I have never done that either. But I think I will do it more frequently now. I used this recipe and found it most delicious...so did everyone else!

I have been making bricks lately. Richard has a commission from the city of Copenhagen to make bricks to restore an old church in the city center. We have been moving clay to the mixer 80 kilos at a time, mixing more grog into it and then moving it back to the studio to wedge and form the bricks. Its a pretty arduous process and unfortunately last week I was sick for a couple of days. I had the stomach flu (or mild food poisoning) and stayed in bed for two whole days. Everyone told me I should go to the doctor, but I kept thinking it would be expensive, like in the states. Guess what? Its free...even for a non-citizen. Richard called the doctor and told them how I felt and then he put the doctor on the phone with me and we just talked over the phone. Then the doctor told me which medicine to get and that was it. Richard went and bought me the medicine, some yogurt and some apples. I was very grateful that he was around to take care of me.

I'm glad I finally feel better though. I hate not eating for days and feeling weak and tired all the time.

The three new artists that have come to the center this past week are Eva Funderburgh, Jody Greenman-Barber and Carol Grant. Carol and Jody both work in pottery and Eva makes hand built monsters. On Monday there is a throwing workshop with Takeshi Yasuda. He arrives tomorrow and the other participants will show up on Monday. I am excited to peak in on the workshop and learn a few things.






meal time is so nice time.

farvel

Dark Sedan.

I don't mind the transitory life style, making hello-s and saying goodbye-s. At Guldagergaard there are always artists coming and going. I have had a roommate, Claire from Ireland, since Aug 23rd, but she leaves tomorrow.
I will be sad to see her go. She is a great artist and she humored me when I wanted to listen to this song one-million times these past three weeks. TAK for that!

Three new artists came last week. Two from Cananda and one from the US. I'm sure they will have plenty to offer my studio practice and life in general. I love learning from everyone, hearing their stories and sharing meals together.
Tonight I cooked a Mediterranean style meal. There were 8 of us at dinner, but I think I made enough for 16. I have a lot to learn about food preparation. But too much is better than not enough, right? Now at least we have lunch for tomorrow.
All my pieces made it out of the bisque intact. Tomorrow I will mix up some glazes and do some tests. Then I have to prepare for my exhibition by glazing all my work.
Here is a flyer I made up for the show. Katrine translated it into Danish for me to print, but here is the English version.




soooo excited.

clay on your head!

For the Skaelskor Cultural Festival, the gallery asked us ceramic artists to participate in their annual "CLAY ON YOUR HEAD" project. I decided to go with an American surfer motif. It was a lot of laughs.

I've been speaking Danish all my life.

Tonight at dinner Richard was teaching me Danish. Raoul kept joking about how we should have a chalkboard installed on the wall because dinner was becoming like a classroom. I was asking Richard how to say everything and then having him repeat it three or four times so I could remember. Plus I have to analyze the Danish grammar, so I can understand it, since I don't have a class.
Anyway I asked Richard how to say "to remember" and he said something that sounded like "whooska" and then I realized he was saying HUSKER. I already knew that DU means YOU and put the two together, husker du. When we were little we loved playing HUSKER DU. It was a memory game, meaning "Do you remember?" in Danish. I had no idea it meant that and I have pronounced HUSKER like corn "husk" my whole life.
oh the joys of childhood.
I learned French from Disney movies and Danish from board games.

København

Saturday morning I woke up singing, "This is not a rat race with winners and losers this is the fast pace way of life" in my friend's apartment in Copenhagen (København in Danish). Friday I went to town to go to the temple and a singles institute activity. They were having an international night where we learned about Nicaragua. There were two girls from Nicaragua there (who live in Denmark) and they made the food and did a presentation. It was so fun, mostly because I got to speak Spanish all night and we planned to hang out some other time. They are so nice and cute.
There were these two guys from Norway and an American girl there. Afterward we just went walking in the street, in search of Dr. Pepper, but without success. Maybe I will go visit Norway?!? I'm not sure, but those guys were talking me into it. I have to see if I can find a cheap airplane ticket.
Then on Saturday I went to the train station in the morning to meet Merja. When she got to town we went walking around looking for second hand shops. We both wanted to buy more warm clothes. Many of the shops were closed, but we turned the corner in this one neighbor and found a little market. There was a whole street filled with garage salers!! I guess it was the neighborhood's party so all the people who lived there brought out their stuff to sell. I found a leather jacket for $8.50 and a sweater and long sleeve shirt for $7 each. Mostly, clothes are expensive here. I haven't wanted to buy anything, so I am sooooo happy about these purchases.
After our success, we went to lunch then to the Danish Design Center and then headed home.
I really love that city. They have bicycle lanes on every street and at some streets the bikers even have their own lights! København is like a fairytale.

five minutes without talking

I am having the time of my life. srsly. Every day is different and the same, relaxing and exciting. But sometimes you really do miss those people with whom it is so natural to go five minutes without talking. You know who you are. love you. thinking of you.

sooooo much wood.

I moved so many logs from one spot to another today. boyohboy. my back is tired.

The best version of what i could imagine just happened.

Silver Screen.

I have just been starting every post with a song that has been in my head/on repeat on my ipod. Some of the words stick out to me and I am glad to have a place to reflect on the lyrics.

I really feel like the best thing I could imagine is happening to me right now. Last week a new artist from Finland came. Her name is Merja. She is so fun. We have such a good time together. I have always loved Finland for some reason so we talk a lot about it and she shows me pictures of her fashionable daughter who lives in Helsinki. She told me that she told her husband all about me, how happy and fun I am. ha. She is great company and for dinner the other night she made us meatballs just like Ikea. They were soooo good.

This week Richard and I are preparing the kiln site because next week we are firing the huge wood kiln. The kiln's name is Embla. It takes three days to fire. There are people coming from Sweden, Denmark and Norway to load and fire the kiln. We will just sign up on a schedule and take shifts through the night for 3 days. So Richard and I are cleaning up, preparing shelves and organizing wood.

I have also been casting more porcelain cups, glazing those I already bisqued and putting decals on the glazed ones. So far we have about 70 finished. I think they want a group of 150 before we take them to Slagelse Community to sell. I really enjoy the process of slip casting and decorating with decals, so I'm glad that job fell into my hands. I have a good time doing it.

Today I started making a landscape out of clay. Before, when I had my landscapes out of styrofoam everyone complained that they didn't mesh well with the sculptures. So I am making one out of a smooth, red, earthenware clay that they have here. It is sooooo smooth. I think I love it. Hopefully it looks good.

I am making dinner for everyone tonight. I made a lemon meringue pie for dessert and I am going to prepare a red curry for the main dish. So far I have made pizza, chicken-vegetable soup and tacos. That might be the end of my menu repertoire...(that's French for repertoire. See I told you I was practicing French!)

Fin.

Woweek number Two.

I listened to the new Vampire Weekend album a while ago, but never "heard" this song until today. And I love it. Give it a listen?
Giving Up The Gun.

Yesterday I finally figured out my flight home. My original ticket was for two months out, when I was going to travel around Europe for a month and end up visiting my parents in Romania. But then they offered me the assistant position for three months, so I needed to change my ticket. However, my departure date was too close to change, so I just took the flight, hoping to fix my return flight later from Copenhagen and skip visiting my parents all together.

When I called the travel office that helped me book it, they said that I had to go out of Romania and that it couldn't be changed (only to find out a day later it could be changed). So I made plans to leave here a week early and go to Romania anyway. It would be a shame to come all this way and not see my parents on their mission...plus I found a non-stop flight from Copenhagen to Bucharest--totally worth it.

I spoke with the director of the center here to make sure it was ok that I leave a week early and she said it was. She is very nice. We talked for a while and she asked me how things are going. I am really loving this place. During our conversation she told me three things that I am taking a huge compliments. First she mentioned that I could come back and that the more times I am here the easier it is to start making work and getting in the flow. Second she said that Richard, the studio manager who I work for, loves me! yes! I was hoping to be a good, hard worker and impress. And third she said I look European and that I fit right in. That made me feel great. Many people have told me that. Everyone starts speaking to me in Danish, and act really surprised when I answer back in English.
It feels good to be in a country where you fit it. I really love it here. Danish people are so friendly and funny. Their sense of humor is really great.

Art wise I have made 6 new sculptures. They are very cute. I will post pictures when I am finished with them. I hope to make at least 3 per week. This week I am ahead of the schedule and will start another one today.

Play is a child's work. So I'm not sure if I am a child or an adult, but I feel stuck/most satisfied in the world of play. Would you rather have more children acting like adults or more adults acting like children? Besides the tantrums, I choose the latter. I think the former makes me sad. Childhood is not a time to be forfeited. It is a time of discovery and imagination, where the world is open to possibility, where there are many questions with no need for answers, where creativity rules every action. Growing up is not my favorite. It's not that I hate responsibility and bills (although those aren't that great). It's just that I miss innocence and simplicity. If I were Miss America, I would definitely choose world peace and happiness for all.
Today, two women came into my studio and laughed with my sculptures. I put a smile on their faces. Good job me.

This is all reminding me of that documentary Promises
I love that movie.
Watch it.

Farvel.

best life ever.

This is the soundtrack for the best life ever.

I don't even know where to begin. My life is amazing. On Saturday I arrived in Copenhagen. I sat for a bit in the airport because I wasn't sure what to do and I was so tired. I decided to just take the train to Skaelskor, the town where I am staying, and explore Copenhagen another day. So I hopped the train, not knowing exactly where to sit or if I was on the right train. I eventually found my seat, but also found someone in my seat. I asked the woman if that was her seat and she moved immediately. Then I heard her talking to her friends in Spanish about she hadn't reserved a seat. They were from Spain so I began to speak Spanish with her. It was such a relief to be speaking a language that I knew.

On the flight over the whole plane was filled with Danish chatting. I sat next to a grad student who was going to study International Business for 3 weeks. He is from San Francisco and his mother is Swedish so he had been to Denmark a few times. We definitely felt like the minority.

No one from the office was in when I arrived at the center because it was a Saturday. But I met a few of the artists that were in the kitchen. Barbara and Pauline are from Germany (Pauline left today, Barbara leaves this next week), Sten is from Denmark, Anne is from France and Hikaru is from Japan. Today I met Richard and Katrine who work in the office. Katrine works two days a week and lives in Copenhagen. She writes music on her off time and has promised to take me to the smaller venues where I can see local bands play. oh so fun.

Today a new artist, Marc, arrived from France. He is 25 and seems very nice. I am glad he is staying for a month. So I am practicing my French as well as studying Danish. Anne and I are determined to learn.

I took a long walk today to the Thrift store. It smells the same here as it does in the states. I bought a hair dryer for my hair and also for the clay. Dual-purpose. Also I passed a bakery and stopped in to buy a true Danish. It was delicious.

oh baby joshua

We gotta believe it will all be alright in the end. If it's not alright yet, it's just because it's not the end yet. Don't sweat it.

miracle of miracles.

In February I applied for an "assistantship" at the Guldagergaard, an International Ceramic Research Center. I wanted to work for the summer in Denmark, assisting the artists who attend the center. However as the summer approached, I called and emailed the director and I found out they already had the positions filled for the summer, but that there might be a spot for the fall and I was the first on the waiting list. So I decided to take the fall semester off, just in case. I figured this opportunity was once in a lifetime.
Good news is that on June 30th they wrote me and told me there was a spot for Aug 1-31st. They understood it was late notice, but invited me. So that week I bought an airplane ticket and planned to travel around for a month after the assistantship because I had already taken the semester off.
However, I also emailed the director and asked if there was any way I could stay for longer. On July 15th she replied that she had rearranged the schedule and asked if I could stay for THREE MONTHS! I feel like my dreams are coming true!!!
Although I was so excited for this opportunity, I realized that none of my loans are coming through until the end of August and I have no money to be traveling around the world. I prayed and fasted and payed my tithing. I was constantly thinking about how I could work for the money I needed to make this trip happen, when it came to me to ask my professor. I have never asked for money from her before, but I called her and nervously asked if she could try and find some extra funds lying around the visual arts department at BYU.
A week later, she had found an internship fund!!! and they reimbursed the entire cost of my airplane ticket. I can't believe what a miracle it was. I am so blessed and I feel so lucky.
This week I am packing up and learning Danish. I'll be gone til November, I'll be gone til November, January, February, March, April, May, I see you crying but girl I can't stay.
thank you. Tak.

Cookie Heist

yesterday, feeling a little bit of a cookie hankering, I started pulling ingredients out of my cupboard. I don't have any good cookie recipes so I just decided to try to make one up. If it was possible to create a good cookie without measuring ANY ingredients and just throwing stuff into the mixing bowl, I would have pulled off the greatest cookie heist of all time.
I put in a couple scoops of butter, poured the rest of the brown sugar and some white sugar in and mixed. Then added some eggs and vanilla. I mixed together some pinches of baking soda and salt with a bowlful of flour and poured it into the wet mixture a little at a time, watching the consistency and adding oat bran and oatmeal and cinnamon. Then put in the chocolate chips. I put four down onto the cookie sheet and cooked them until they turned golden on the bottom.
They turned out to be the best cookies I have EVER made... using a secret recipe that even I will never figure out.

We'll always have pears.

Wowwee! Today was amazing. Emily and I both received monetary awards for our arts. We were planning on having a fun party up in Salt Lake at Kilby with two bands that we wanted to get to know, but it was canceled because of a snow storm in Wyoming that delayed their coming.
That can't get us down.
We went out for frozen yogurt and then to Emily's sister's house. We swam in the heated pool, casting shadows on the wall from the pool light. Then sitting in the hot tub we had so many good jokes and conversations and it turned into a wonderful evening. Then we went to Damien's and hung out with him and his roommates and made more good jokes and conversation.
Driving back, we were dancing and singing and feeling hungry so we stopped at In N Out and got a cheeseburger-split in two. Emily remembered that A Crowd of Small Adventures was opening for Camera Obscura in Las Vegas sometime soon and when we got home we found out it is the very same weekend we were planning on being in Vegas!! and the tickets are only $12!!! So we bought tickets!!
Then I tried calling Denmark again and finally got a hold of someone! PHEW. It was such a relief and a great end to the night.
I am grateful the universe looks out for me.

right!! a letter to myself.

I've been thinking a lot these past few days about my future. I have a lot of options, but I'm not sure what will make me the happiest. Two nights ago I was searching my inbox for an old email Susan sent me with an art jobs link and stumbled upon an old email I had written three years ago to an ex-boyfriend. I found a whole string of emails we had written to keep in touch and it was so fun to go through and read about the lives we led back then in 2007. I didn't even remember writing those emails, but they recounted my past and I loved reliving it.
As I read this particular email I was astounded by my own grace, wisdom and counsel. It shocked me because lately I have been feeling the exact same emotions and needed to hear those same words I expressed to him. Wow! I never would have imagined that my 25 year old self would be telling my 28 year old self how to change, trust, live and love. I was proud of myself back then, a little disappointed in my lack of faith now.
I didn't mean to write a letter to myself, but I'm glad it worked out that way.

jettisoning myself into youthdom/irresonsibility.

i went back in time last week. i dropped all my responsibilities and drove to austin, texas with 7 other people, all younger than me, all barely acquaintances. i may regret this on wednesday, when i have to give the single most difficult presentation i have ever prepared, but what has been done has been done. i was young and carefree. we drove 24 hours there and 24 back. we lounged, we laughed, swam and saw shows. nevermind, i don't think i will ever regret it. austin was amazing.

happy birthdays

I love receiving/sending packages for birthdays. I think my favorite part of receiving is when you pull the present out of the mail envelope and the once carefully curled ribbon has been smushed up against the present. There is something about that crushed curled ribbon, stuck in its place, kind of like a picture, frozen in time, saying, "This is exactly the way I looked when so-and-so placed me inside this envelope for you. And here's a hug."

you caved my karma in.

this has to be the most beautiful song in the whole world. I may or may not have listened to this one million times...with the potential for more.
Why do I love this?
no one knows.

poetry relief

In my quest to appreciate, understand and love the wind I wrote an haiku and dedicate it to that moving force:

Wind's Curling Breath
it swishes past me
lifting my skirts and spirits
changing old for new






photo courtesy of this blog

Patriotism.

If you fill your life with enough olympics you will never be sad that your two best friends are on the other side of the world.
Because the olympics brings pillow fights, banana pancake cookies, blueberries, impromptu dance parties, art, dog piles and the spirit of Mardi Gras.
go.U.S.A.
(let's pretend that that's what my shirt really says.)

Accordion-oh-no? oh yes.

probably the single best thing that has happened to me since yesterday.

To everything there is a season.

This week, when needing to console a grieving friend, I found this poem by Emily Dickinson that said exactly the right words, in just the right way. I love this. I love Emilys.

"Our share of night to bear,
Our share of morning,
Our blank in bliss to fill,
Our blank in scorning.

Here a star, and there a star,
Some lose their way.
Here a mist, and there a mist,
Afterwards—day!"

I'm Excited

My show opens on Friday! It's a collection of my R.E.C.E.N.T. Works (Rachel's Emotional Comical Electronic Nostalgic Things). They are all over the gallery, ready for blast off and good conversation.

thank you.

yesterday in the art class that I teach at the Scera, I had a new student. She is 11 and adorable. We were talking about Christmas and she asked me what I did for Christmas. I told her my parents were gone and I was the only one not married so I spent it at my sister's house. She looked up and sincerely said, "Well your pretty enough to be married..." Thanks! That really made my day. I am pretty enough to be married.

Tonight tonight

I just arrived at my parents house. They are studying Romanian and listening to the radio station on the TV. When a good song comes on they stop and dance for the song and then back to the books.
Right after I came in the door, Could I Have This Dance by Anne Murray came on. They started waltzing around the living room and I almost cried thinking about how that song reminds me of the relationship I have seen them have my whole life. When we were little we would play that Anne Murray album and my parents would always hold each other and dance to that song. It typifies their love for one another and will forever remind me of them.
I love that song. And I sing along to all of the words.



I'll always remember the song they were playin',
The first time we danced and I knew,
As we swayed to the music and held to each other,
I fell in love with you.

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner every night?
When we're together, it feels so right.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

I'll always remember that magic moment,
When I held you close to me.
'Cause we moved together, I knew forever,
You're all I'll ever need

Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?
Would you be my partner every night?
When we're together, it feels so right.
Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?

recent works and sentiments

maybe nothing will make you happy
but to give
and give
and give
voids filled
with try
and try
and try
once bitten
twice shy.

Haircut Hiatus

This week six people asked me to cut their hair!!! I stressed about juggling all the appointments, contemplated buying a Blackberry to help me organize my hair schedule, looked at hydraulic salon chairs on craigslist, reveled in the newly found source of cash flow, but decided I need to make some decisions.
It was probably one of the worst weeks, because I didn't spend a lot of time working in my studio! With all the outside appointments and jobs, I am getting behind in my artwork. This can't happen again. I am taking a haircut hiatus!!!

someone once said....

"by embracing the diversity of human beings you find a way to true happiness"

and I agree.

planet earth

Looks like it's more than mother nature.

art shmart

my piece got accepted to the Statewide Annual Competition!!! it will be on display at the Rio Gallery in Salt Lake all month. The opening reception is tonight. and I am pretty excited about art.

blowing my mind. one more time.

The Bowerbirds have done it again. Last night I was talking with a friend about writing a break-up song. I feel like every break-up is different, because the people involved are different and a bad relationship is caused by a variety of miscommunications or unvalidating actions and words, or just plain differences of opinion etc etc. but mostly we just hear the generic break-up songs on the radio...boy misses girl, is lonely, wonders if they should get back together, hopes to find someone new....I could go on.
As a artist I'm faced every day with having to be creative and feeling like I may never be original and when it comes to song writing, I get really overwhelmed. So many songs have already been written. What could possibly be novel in the music world??
Then today, this song popped up on my ipod and Emily and I evaluated and re-evaluated each and every lyric. We love it. This song is so deep and so original. It is layered with meanings and I love that complexity.
In the end, I loved Emily's explanation. She felt that the guy noticed a lot of the girl's faults, like how she was always switching words around to be in her favor and tallying up her wins, but in the end it was hardest to admit that she actually was right. Basically he was just prideful, but it is said with more eloquence and words.
Really good spin on an emotion we have all felt at many times in relationships.



Put my dreams in my hands so I know I'm sure
Give me all that I want from this giant world
But you can't seem to not tally it up
So we know the score

Show me how I'm a man
Show me the light
Show me the wins of the day and the depths of the night
But you can't seem to not show me all that you sacrificed

And, well, nothing is harder
Than to know how much I still owe you

You could move like a silver cloud through the skies
You could move like a secret and slip past my life
But you can't seem to quit moving words around to show who was right

And, well, nothing is harder
Than to know that you were never wrong, dear

Never Before Seen

This is a girl in my ward. I have been over to her house the last two nights for different ward activities and she has played this song for us. It is so amazing!!! I have never seen a cello played in this way before and absolutely love this song!

It's Chris O'Clock.

Last week I received a text from a guy named Chris Crosby, he had heard of my sewing skillz and needed some things sewn so we set an appointment for a fitting, Tuesday at 6 o'clock. Then a friend of mine Chris Nielsen needed me to fix his pants before he went out of town, I scheduled with him for Tuesday at noon. On Monday night my old friend Chris Allen texted me that he was in town and wanted to know if we could see each other, how about Tuesday at 6pm? We decided to make dinner together. I figured I would just fit Chris Crosby and then be able to make dinner with Chris Allen.
So Tuesday rolled around and Chris Nielsen couldn't make the noon appointment and I gave him option two, "How's 6 o'clock?" I might as well fit everyone at the same time.
I sat back and laughed. I was going to have 3 Chris' at my house at 6 o'clock!
I started to prep for dinner and decided to invite my friends Janna and Meg. I had just bought some yellow curry paste and had a ton of vegetables from my parents garden that I wanted to use.
So at 6, with the curry simmering, Chris Crosby showed up and I fitted him, Chris Allen came to help make dinner, Janna and Meg came with their brother Christian (who we call Chris!!) and Chris Nielsen stood me up. I invited Chris Crosby to join us for dinner and we set up a table outside on the lawn.
It was a delightful dinner party. I just kept laughing! All the guys at my house that day were named Chris. Midway through dinner my roommate Rachel came home with her fiancee. I almost fell off my seat when I remembered that his name was Chris TOO!
Maybe I should record this moment for the Guinness Book of World Records, "Most Chris' at a Dinner Party."
6 o'clock was more like Chris o'clock.

It's so GOOD.

I subscribed to GOOD Magazine. You choose how much you pay for it and all your money then goes to a charity of your choice. It really is sooooo good. I love the design and also the information. I think it helps me live a life that's a little more green because it makes me more conscientious of how I can reduce/reuse/recycle. Part of me wants to be a big tree-hugging hippie and I guess that's the part I'm gratifying through this magazine...in the coolest possible way.

This month they talked about commuting to work on your bike. The article is there online to read about bike safety. I lol-ed at the last line of advice, "Wear a helmet. If you're too embarrassed, you're also too dumb to ride a bike in a city. Seriously." haha.

From The Futro.

At the beginning of August I had a small exhibit of recent artworks just for fun. There was extra space in the HFAC so the gallery director let me make a show of it, might as well pad the resume, right?

My art goal is to make people happy. I want patrons to see my works and be filled with glee, reminiscing on childhood faux pas or day dreaming about the future. Hopefully, the viewer understands that I wish my works to be filled with a longing for the naivete of adolescence, an embrace of endless imagination and tactless/shameless conversations and statements, that we all remember from the "good ole days."

I think naivete is different from ignorance. One is naive when they are open-minded, but they just haven't had the opportunity to learn something yet. One is ignorant when they are close-minded and stubborn in acquiring available knowledge. Simple naivete, childhood peace and happiness, are what I want people to feel when they look at my works.

I was sooooooo excited when I looked through the comment book I left out for visitors to sign. Many of the viewers expressed these same ideas that I had hoped my pieces would engender.

Here are some things they said:

-This show makes me happy.
-I LOVE THIS. Your use of colors is so great! This exhibit is full of good things. I'm going nuts over the humor, whimsy, subtlety and lovely aestehtic. And your glazing is killer cool! Thanks for an awesome experience!
-It's so whimsical and reminds me of children's toys. It's happy--That's refreshing.
-AWZZUM!
-Thank you for making me smile.

Here a few pix of the pieces in the show. Enjoy! I hope they make you happy.

PS. old news.

I have a website in the works.
It's only gonna get better than this.

Kings of Genius.

So many people in this world are amazingly creative. I love hearing about the novel ideas that friends and complete strangers have. Maybe this isn't so novel, but Noah and The Whale made a complete movie to go along with their next album.
Its called The First Days of Spring. I am really excited to see the film and listen to the album at the same time.

Check out a little sneak peek HERE. Great, no?

i olive heart you.

Last Monday I had the chance to go see Bowerbirds at Kilby Court. It has been about a year since I saw them last. They have been one of my favorite bands for a long time. Last year I planned my vacation to Germany around their concert and convinced some guy I didn't know (a friend of my cousin's) to drive me to Frankfurt to find an old bread factory (the Brotfabrik) where they were playing. It was one of the best shows I had ever seen! But this one topped it!! I am tempted to follow them around the country going to every single show they play and singing along at the top of my lungs.


Bowerbirds at the Brotfabrik, 2008


This is one of my favorite songs of theirs.

Olive Hearts (click on the link to hear the song)

With my toes dangling into the sea,
Into a fog, into a lonely drink
Don't lift me up,
I'm a wreck, I know
Still, I've got miles to walk from the cape along the coast
And we'll play helicopter in the sand
And bite our thumbs at the acquaintances,
And make it known we're on par for the evening,
And take the butcher's knife through my words again

Then, in walk, the mannered men
With their smoke-screened eyes
And the sequined girls
With their skirts hemmed high
And you will know from this
That it's all to start.
Our glasses clink,
And our plastic swords stab our olive hearts

All night like a friendly ghost
We haunt the ins and outs of this house of our gracious host
And give thanks, but not much helps.
And so here is where we give the toast:
Cheers to the wives of the drunks
Cheers to the husbands that tag along for good luck
Cheers to the miles it took to get here
Cheers to the the nerve it takes to forget who we are

Then, in walk, the mannered men
With their smoke-screened eyes
And the sequined girls
With their skirts hemmed high
And you will know from this
That it's all to start.
Our glasses clink,
And our plastic swords stab our olive hearts

self. great. day.

Today was a wonderful day.
Maybe it's because it was my last day as an intern at the Salt Lake Art Center. It's nice to be finished working without pay while commuting and living out of a suitcase at my sister's house. Woah! I can't believe I did that for 3 months!!!
Or maybe it's because my friends came up and we ate out at the Himalayan Kitchen. Yum. Nepali food is yum. but make sure you get the mild...
Or maybe it's because I got to go to the temple this morning and I had all fresh, clean clothes. I love that feeling. Plus I didn't fall asleep once, never even closed my eyes! wowz.
Or it might be because I finally talked with the Gallery 303 and told them all the info for my show that opens next week! EZCCITTIngG!!
Or it could be because we went to a free concert tonight, Casiotone for the Painfully Alone at Slowtrain Records and stood right in front, two feet away, and requested songs for him to play and listened and danced. That was soooooo fun!
All the things I love, wrapped into 24 hours.
These ingredients (along with seeing the cute neighbor boy and making a delicious smoothie for breakfast with a magic bullet) make for a good day, I can't deny it.
I 100% loved today and am ecstatic for tomorrow.

Ah what a world...

My friend showed me this article from the New York Times. I love these towns. They are trying to make a difference, one day at a time. I want to be like them. I wish my town could have similar progressive attitudes. Come on Provo.

Death by Bob Dylan

Do you know how many albums Bob Dylan has?

I do, because as I was a passenger/prisoner in a car for seven hours (actually 8, because of a missed exit and 60 extra miles), I was forced to listen to ALL of them. Ok, I'm being overly dramatic, but the music was so loud and jangly. To me, all his songs sound the same and at top decibels, all of them are unbearable. It could be that I have finally come to the realization that I don't like Bob Dylan.
I guess I am just lucky I didn't die from over-exposure. I kinda felt like I might...

love this artist.

I really love these. Good Job, Rob Longo!

Untitled (White Riot), 1982



Untitled, 1981

Es la verdad.

I am a sucker for live music and long hair.
I'm in the process of growing mine out again.
Let it be known.



my "short" hair

REJECTED!!!

That word sounds so mean. But really, it doesn't have to be. I think about that all the time. Today at my internship at the Salt Lake Art Center, I wrote rejection letters to artists who had submitted proposals. It was crazy to be on that side of the spectrum, seeing all those artists' proposals. It made me nervous to be an artist. These people were my competition (since I want to be a practicing artist) and I saw their strategies and portfolios.

The curators had reviewed their proposals and decided that basically what they were doing in their artwork just isn't the aim/goal of the Art Center right now. So I was given the job of politely dismissing their proposed exhibitions and urging them to go on with their noble efforts in another direction.

It's not that we hate them, I actually saw some pretty good artists in the mix, its just that their ideas aren't going to further the mission of the Art Center, so we had to pass them up. And really, that's just the way it is in life. I don't think people mean to hurt you personally when they "reject" you, they just mean to urge you into better, more compatible directions. That's all.